I've grown up in a good home. My parents get along, we don't struggle with money, we have never had any major health issues, and we have dinner on the table every night. For me, this life is normal. But for other families, they all have a different version of "normal". Some families might have divorced parents, some might be an only child, some may have a sick family member. It's not always the happy little family. As we saw in Junot Diaz's Fiesta, 1980 and Ysreal, family dynamics vary.
For Rafa and Yunior, their abusive father and submissive mother is their version of a normal family. They've never known anything else. In situations like this, often the children will grow up to have relationships that mirror their parents'. I can definitely see Rafa growing up to become an abusive husband/father. The amount of abuse he sees, and seems to feel no emotions towards, would make me think he would be more likely to develop similar tendencies. Especially because he seems to be Papi's "favorite". We also see Rafa almost respecting his father's ability to have a mistress, a reflection on Rafa's own sexual prowess. On the other hand, I cannot picture Yunior growing up to become abusive. The amount of compassion and emotion he displays in Fiesta, 1980, makes me think that he will grow up determined to differ from his father. Rafa never even considers telling Mami about father's affair, but it is a big issue that weighs on Yunior. This makes me think he couldn't do that to someone else.
Another relationship we see is in Aurora. In this story, the main relationship is between Aurora and Lucero. We see an interesting dynamic in this relationship. Neither Aurora or Lucero are in the clear in terms of being "innocent". We see both characters be abusive, manipulative, mean, and possible unfaithful. But does this make it okay if they both do it? That's a question that's been weighing on me. Anyway, while I was reading Aurora I definitely did not read it as a love story. Though it is a story about a boy and a girl who are physically intimate, I didn't think a relationship that abusive could be a loving one.
During our class discussion yesterday, the idea that perhaps this relationship was okay in their situation was brought up. The analogy of a "war zone" and their lives was repeatedly brought up. If their lives were in shambles, is it okay for their relationship to be too? Somehow this didn't legitimize their love story for me. But as I've continued thinking about their relationship, I've realized that I come from a place of privilege. I have never been abused. I have never lived in a home with abuse. I have never been to juvie. I have never been a drug addict. I have never lived in the "rough" part of New Jersey. So who am I, a privileged white girl, to judge Aurora and Lucero's relationship? Do I think it's healthy? No. Would most privileged people think it was healthy? Also no. But Aurora and Lucero are not privileged. So does this change the nature of how we view their relationship?
