I was inspired by last night's reading...

You start reading the book at 9:14 pm. You're tired, and your eyes are already sliding shut before you even turn the first page. The title jumps out at you. "An?" you think, "shouldn't it be 'the'?" That's what you've always heard in movies at least. You shrug it off, and keep reading. "A cliche beginning," you mutter, shaking your head, but you continue reading. The clock reads 9:21. Your eyes are heavy. Reading in your bed was a bad idea. You wonder what the main character's name is. Your sleepy brain says it doesn't care.
Your mind wanders to what you're doing tomorrow. It's soccer sectionals. You wonder if Kate wants to go. You remember that she still has her French exchange student, Nicholas. You remember that he doesn't speak a lot of English, and cringe at the thought of another awkward conversation. You decide to text Kate tomorrow. You'll probably forget to do that tomorrow.
You're 10 pages into the reading. You flip the pages to see how many you have left. 12. "Leave him!" you want to tell the main character. But you can't. Because she's a character. And you're living her life, not the other way around. You know how it's going to end. You sigh, but keep reading. You can't fall asleep in class tomorrow. You have to finish the reading. You're so incredibly tired. Sleep sounds as nice as a massage. Your pillow looks like one.
"Stop it!" you say to yourself, "wake up!" But your eyes slide shut. Your book falls into your lap, but you don't feel it. You're asleep. You'll finish the reading tomorrow.

I think Teddy is Schizophrenic...

Call me morbid, but at the end of Salinger's “Teddy” I thought that Teddy killed himself. Before you hurriedly click out of this possibly pretty negative blog post, hear me out.

So I don’t actually think Teddy was this boy genius type of kid. Maybe I’m just super skeptical, but I definitely saw aspects of mental illness, specifically Schizophrenia (there’s actually a whole article on the relationship between Schizophrenia and some religions, it’s really interesting, google it). Schizophrenia is defined as a complex mental disorder characterized by a difficulty in recognizing reality, regulating emotional responses, and thinking in a clear and logical manner. I thought that Teddy’s extreme religious views (reincarnation, etc.) were a cause of his difficulty in recognizing reality. To me, it seemed as though Teddy was living in a fictitious world made up by himself, also supporting the thinking in a clear and logical manner part of Schizophrenia.

Schizophrenics often develop faulty beliefs based on hallucinatory experiences. Many researchers think that Schizophrenia can be a direct link to extreme religious beliefs. (Not saying you’re Schizophrenic if you’re religious, this is like super extreme cases.) Though alternatively, religion can be a trigger for Schizophrenia. So which came first for Teddy?

An estimated 20-40% of Schizophrenics attempt suicide at some point. If my (odd) theory was correct, and Teddy was indeed Schizophrenic, the idea of him committing suicide becomes far more plausible. Compared to the general population, Schizophrenics are eight times more likely to commit suicide.

According to WebMD, the four criteria for a typical suicidal Schizophrenic patient are:

• Being a male under age 30 (check)
• Have a higher IQ (check)
• Have been a high achiever as an adolescent and young adult (check)
• Be painfully aware of schizophrenia's effect on his mental state (maybe?)

Teddy fits into at least three of these categories. Again, I know this is morbid. Sorry! But I think Teddy finally grew tired of dealing with this day after day, and felt as though he couldn't talk to anyone because he was supposed to be this super smart young boy being interviewed by professors and doctors around the world, and killed himself. This would also explain why he knew the two possible dates it would happen, since it was in his control.

I know you guys are probably not schizophrenic, but If you or someone you know are thinking about suicide, please visit this website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

(Also here's the link to the article I mentioned: http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.117.217&rep=rep1&type=pdf)